Trapped
by Padaacklecollins
Summary: The accident was no accident, it was planned by those who we thought that they were our friends and families when it turned out that they were actually demons planning our death since birth. We are not crazy, we promise and we got proof. But please believe us when we say this: when you got evidence in your hands about real life and fake, who or what do you believe?
1. Chapter 1: Trap

So I had a dream about this last night and I just had to make a story out of it!

Dear Followers from Survive and fight: I am still working on Chapter six! I will post it by the end of this week, so bear with me!

I don't own Supernatural I only own my OC's and minor OOC's.

Enjoy!

Xx

Chapter One: Trap

Dear friend,

I was told that I should start writing to you because you would somehow understand what I am going through. I was never good with introductions and plotting things out but, I will tell you the things that my best friend and I went through. I don't see how any of you would understand the things that Cindy and I went through; our assigned doctor told us because of the accident and the damage we had suffered, we imagine and have episodes and dreams that are not realistic.

I tell him that this is bunch of bullshit because He promised to come and rescue us. The brothers promised to come back and take us out from this hell and to this day we are still waiting. Patiently, and desperately.

Cindy and I are not insane, crazy, and delusional or "dreamers" as the nurses categorized us. We know where we woke up, who saved us, who tried to kill us, what is real and what is not. Before we were separated, we were living the most dangerous life that no one should ever go through, but that was at a different world. This is what happens when you become a fandom and obsess over a stupid show. For a stupid show that somehow saved your life that you just cannot hate and never thought that it existed, because somehow you were tossed at a parallel world by a psychotic red, yellow, and black eyed demons.

The accident was no accident, it was planned and those who you thought were your friends and families where actually demons planning your death since the day you were born.

We are not crazy, we promise and we got proof. But please, believe us when we say this; when you got evidence in your hands about real life and fake, who do you believe?

My name is Samantha Coulson, I'm 19 years-old and I know the staffs, doctors and nurses at this psychiatric ward are planning something against us and if we don't get out of this place quickly then it will be the end for us.


	2. Chapter 2: Our Perfect Nightmare

Hey guys, I hope you like the first chapter. I know it was short; it was actually planned that way. The setting to my story will be similar to like "The Perks of being a Wallflower." (Kind of like a diary; journal for those who haven't read the book)

I hope you like it; I have good feelings about this! I don't know if anyone wrote stories similar like mine, but it just came to me just like out of nowhere and I just HAD to write it. It started to bother me since last week and today I just gave up and started to type away!

**(S/N)**

**-**future quotes/cast are from Supernatural

-future lyrics belong to its original song writers

-Future Charlie's quotes belongs to The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

-I only own my OC's and minor OOC'S.

Enjoy idjits!

XX

Chapter two: Our Perfect Nightmare

"**So this is my life and I want you to know I am both happy and sad and I am still trying to figure out how that could be."**

** -Charlie**

Dear friend,

Do you know what is like to live at a psychiatric ward? Well, imagine this: you lie awake in your tiny bed, underneath the itchy salmon covers, your neck is sore from sleeping on one pillow (you ask for another one but you'll need a doctor's order to have more than one.) Your sleep medicine has worn off and you are now once again a prisoner to your insomnia. The only thing that you can do now is to listen to your roommate mutter to herself in her sleep and the sound of the nurses talking and phones ringing at the nurses' station. Imagine just lying there in your tiny bed and remembering the nightmare you had the night before in which you were trapped in a car that was filling up with water, drowning and gasping for air. For a moment you think it was a nightmare until you remember that it was another memory, no dreams, no random episode, no nightmare, but a memory.

You have a scheduled time planned for you. We wake up at 7 A.M. in the morning or as the techs likes to call it: Morning Checks, where they pass by and bang on your door as you have started to drift off in your sleep and inform that you must be up for breakfast in thirty minutes.

The psychiatric ward is just like high school minus the classes. Here's the complete schedule:

7:30 A.M.: Breakfast

8:30 A.M.: Community group. You discuss at length the rules and regulations of the hospital (only use the phone for ten minutes at a time, bath buckets are under no circumstances to be kept in your assigned room, no towels or food in the rooms, and no physical contact with other patients.)

9:30 A.M.: you meet with your most amazing psychiatric, Dr. Wells.

10 A.M: Cindy and I get to hang out for a bit and talk about random stuffs

11:30 A.M.: Process group with your social worker.

12:30 P.M.: Lunch Time

1 p.m.: Vital signs checkup

2 p.m.: Recreational therapy

2:30 p.m.: Education group

4 p.m.: Visitation hour

5 p.m.: Line up for dinner

8 p.m.: Closure group (it is where you review your daily goals you have set for the day. I find this pointless actually because our only goal is to escape this hell.)

9 p.m.: Night meds (a very popular time for obvious reason.)

9:30 p.m.: hang out at the common room.

11 p.m.: Lights are out.

No person wants to go through this, and no one likes to have a scheduled planned for them. There have been days where patients have a mental break down, few attempting suicides in different ways. The buildings are categorized by four: the top left floor are for the bulimics, top right are for depression/bipolar/and anxiety also known as the "screamers", bottom right are for who tried to suicide themselves or also known as "silent death", and last but not least; the bottom left are for people who hallucinate or "dreamers."

That's where Cindy and I are placed.

It was nighttime already and Cindy was knocked out. I took the pill earlier, even if I didn't want to; I was forced to take it. For me, it took forever to take effect so I just laid there staring at the pale ceiling and started to remember the day where it all begun.

"Our perfect nightmare." Cindy told me one day and I agreed with her. It was our sweet, bitter nightmare and well worth it while it last. I still refuse in to not believe that it never happen, because it did. I was there, I felt the impact, and so who are they to tell me that I am imagining things?

Friend, the doctor didn't tell me to write a diary, but a friend of Cindy and I told us to write. It was the only thing that kept us sane because only _we_ know what really happen. So, if one day you'll ever find this journal just know that perhaps Cindy and I made it. Maybe we are with them, or maybe we are six feet below. If anything, just know that our hearts are finally free from the cruel world and living to our free will.

I cannot sleep so I will start to tell you how it all begun.

It was one Saturday evening and Cindy and I were getting ready to go to a convention to meet and greet our favorite celebrities from a show that we obsess called _Supernatural._

Cindy Holmes and I have been friends since high school, since then we had been inseparable. We were more than friends, we were practically like sisters but I guess any best friends would say that to each other. Cindy is like the older sister, the leader, the enthusiast, adrenaline junkie, the hippie. I love Cindy, I just love her and without her…if anything ever happen to her I could never live with myself. Besides Him keeping me sane, Cindy was always the opposite of me, who kept me looking at the bright side in everything.

Cindy is very beautiful, gorgeous young woman. She has long red semi-wavy hair, blue eyes, fair white skin but somehow she has no freckles.

Me: "I still don't get how you don't have freckles. It doesn't make sense to me."

Cindy: "I used to have freckles when I was younger, Sammy. Some of us are lucky, most of us; not so lucky." She explained. I still believe that she dyed her hair. I know she does. Cindy is a very sporty girl, the type of girl that guys droll over. She has the beach body, the good looks, the right things to say at the right time, the soft voice. She is just one of a kind, while I on the other hand, I'm just an original.

I'm a nerd when it comes to comics, food junkie, music lover, a book lover, I used obey to rules and didn't ask questions, I don't exercise whatsoever yet I somehow I am in good shape…a little bit, I was always the shy type of girl, the quiet one as well. I have long dark brown hair, brown eyes and little acne on my face thanks to the meds. My face used to be clear, but now it's not clean. Cindy says that I stress too much and it is the main reason I get acne.

Anyways, like I was saying earlier, Cindy and I were on our way to downtown to the SPN convention. It was a late October afternoon; it was three days after our painful and headaches mid-terms ended and we didn't have class on Friday. Our professors at our college were kind enough to give us the three day weekend off to rest our minds.

The SPN convection begun on that same Friday and Cindy and I were ecstatic to go and meet our men crushes. It was the first time they were coming over to our city and we didn't want to miss it for the world.

Nothing or no one was going to get in our way.

Boy, was I wrong. Apparently destiny had another plan for us.

We lived at campus, outside of the city and it would take us about thirty minutes to get there. Like always, we can never set time because if we did, we would never follow it. We were supposed to leave at 12:30 P.M. but we ended up leaving at 4:30. It was dark outside already since the time changed. If it was summer, there would still be light out, but the sun was setting at this point. I remember what I was wearing that day as well.

I didn't want to dress up very cliché because I knew a lot of fans would dress up as a hunter, (which by the way, that is what Cindy did) I ended up wearing a pair of ripped jeans, a lose black tank top that had a white, black logo that represented my favorite band; Guns N' Roses, with two guns on each sides with roses sticking out of the pistols. On top of that I had a green and black light jacket, my black and white converse, and of course I had my salt and burn necklace along with one small silver wing, and the small pentagram. I was representing of a boy band instead of our three men.

"You should've dressed up like a hunter, Sammy." Cindy told me as she was driving her black '79 pick-up truck. I sat back and looked at her; she was wearing dark jeans, brown combat boots, a flannel with a gray V-neck and a leather jacket over. I crossed my arms on my chest and said, "You know, Sammy sounds like a fat little girl with problems," I pouted, "also, I don't want be 'in-the-crowd' I want to stand out." Cindy scoffed and put a finger up.

"One, props for almost quoting my husband, two; we are supporting them! By wearing your band shirt shows that you're not interested." She pointed out. I shook my head, "Dean likes Gun N' Roses."

"Dean, but does Jensen likes Gun N' Roses?" does he? I was so into Dean Winchester that I never got the chance to stalk Jensen Ackles life. I made a mental to myself to ask him if he likes Guns N' Roses, and when I met him; before we got separated, I never got the chance to ask him.

Unfortunately, we never made it to the city due to the detour. The detour to our death as I used to say. The day was good to a nightmare. We lived in campus and we always pass through the Ellen Road and there was never a construction site. Ever. The detour sign indicated to follow through the forest trail.

Tell me who in the right mind places a detour through the forest? I had a bad feeling about that in that moment. I told Cindy that we should go back and take the long way, but she refuses and 'Follow the sign.'

Cindy: "Each sign has a symbol, a symbol that would lead us somewhere."

Me: "Like a walk to our death!" I panicked. She didn't listen because she was gut believer but my gut told me to jump out of the truck and go back to the dorm. I didn't, I rather stay with my friend. Cindy was never wrong, so I believed in her and sometimes depended on her. Well, most of the time I did.

Driving the forest was the creepiest and scariest thing to do. Especially on the month of Halloween. At night, the forest looked scary; the trees looked like the ones you see at a scary movie, loose, brittle looking, and dark by the distance. I looked outside of my window and for a moment I saw a dark shadow, for a moment I thought it was a deer or a bird flying by. I looked forward and we saw a dark tall shadow heading towards us and Cindy lost control of the truck as she tried to avoid hitting it, whatever it was.

Everything happened so quickly. One minute the truck was rolling down with us inside and then the next minute, after the rolling and spinning it stopped. Everything was quiet, that type of scare quietness that you knew something much more worse is about to happen. I looked to the driver side and I saw Cindy unconscious and blood on the corner of her forehead and her nose.

"Cindy," I cried out for her. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at me, "What…happened?" I tried to unbuckle myself but the buckle was stuck, my shoulder was hurting and my head as well. I started to taste blood inside of my mouth.

"We have to get out of here, Cindy." I told her.

"I can't move!" She started to panic. I tried to help her but I couldn't even help myself. So I did what I do best; "Help! Somebody help us!" We started to hear dogs barking and the wind blowing. We started to see dark clouds outside of the truck.

"Cindy? What's going on? Cindy!" I called her out as she tried to move and unbuckle herself.

"How the hell should I know? Sam try to unbuckle yourse-"that's when we felt a strong force hitting on the track. The hit was so strong that it sent us to the lake. We were sinking in and we were stuck.

"We're sinking! Cindy, we are sinking!" I shouted.

"Samantha! Stop panicking and get the knife from the glove compartment!" she instructed, but I couldn't move, I was too scared.

"NOW!" I shakingly tried to reach for the glove department. The more I moved, I felt a pain shooting down to my spine and I was scared the more I moved I hurt myself more and more. We were sinking in slowly, halfway through and the water was coming in through the vents. I opened the glove compartment and looked through the mess to find the mess. As the seconds pass by, the faster the water came through. The water was freezing cold and it was up to our waist.

"HURRY!" Cindy shouted. I found the knife; it was a small red chromed pocket knife.

"I got it!" I told her.

"Ok, good. Now, cut your seatbelt and then cut mine. But quick!" she instructed. I was surprised that she was calmed while I panicked. I nodded and tried my best to cut the belt, but it was too late, we felt something pushing the truck down and the water got in much faster. By the time I managed to cut free, I was already too late.

We didn't get our last breath, Cindy was already unconscious and I was the last one alive at the moment. I banged on the windows and screamed which was pointless. I was losing force, my nose were burning and my body was filling up of water.

I never ever thought of the ways how I could die, it never came to mind. This though, this was the worst possible way. Especially when I feared the darkness and water.

I was screaming as I drowned in my worst nightmares.

Well, the pills are taking effects. I am going to sleep now, I will continue tomorrow.

Goodnight friend.

-Sam.

Xx

Hey guys!

So what do you think so far? Good? Bad? Let me know! The info about the description of the psychiatric ward I got it from "A Day in the Life of a Mental Hospital Patient" by Jennifer O'Brien


	3. Chapter 3: Walking on Air

Two chapters in one day? Whaattt? Haha only because I love you guys! Anyways, for my transformers reviewers: patience, grasshoppers! I will post it up by the end of this week! It's a work in process ^_^

Well here's chapter three

**(S/N)**

-future quotes/cast are from Supernatural

-future lyrics belong to its original song writers

-Future Charlie's quotes belongs to The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

-I only own my OC's and minor OOC'S.

Onwards!

XX

Chapter three: Walking on Air

"**Little creepy girl with her little creepy face, saying funny things that you have never heard. Do you know what it's all about? Are you brave enough to figure out? Know that you could set your world on fire? If you're strong enough to figure to leave your doubts."**

**-Kerli**

Dear friend,

This ward is full of suffering and souls that needs to be saved. I am not part of them, but I do want to be saved, I want to escape this prison and if I don't leave any time soon, I feel like I am going to die in here.

Today, Dr. Wells talked to me and tried to make sense of what I was trying to tell her. My gut tells me that I shouldn't tell her the complete truth, hell; it tells me that I shouldn't be talking to her at all. My inner voice tells me to lie, but I can't.

I was assigned to Dr. Wells since day one. She isn't a bad person, but you can never know who she really is behind that mask. Her real name is Antoinette Wells; tall, blond hair, fair skin, blue eyes, and very attractive. Male nurses try to woo her but she always waves them off or led them on. I hate having a session with her, especially when she asks me a lot of questions, and they are always the same questions but she always rephrases them. I sat on the dark brown leathered couch and started to bite my nails.

He always hated when I did that, he was trying to get rid of my 'nasty habit'.

"You make me nervous when you do that." He used to tell me.

"Then don't look at me, Winchester." I said.

"I'm not going to stop looking after you just because you're biting your nails."

"Then quit complaining." I responded as I looked at him, knowing that I won this small argument. I looked at him, at his perfection, his straight jaw, his short cropped hair, green eyes, his way of being.

"You always got something to say, don't you." He responded after a while and I chuckled as I looked outside the window. From the reflection of the mirror, I could see him smile as well.

I bit my tongue, already yearning to say his name but I won't. I promised myself on not to say his name because saying his name hurts more than having memories. I sank deeper in the couch and heard the door open; I didn't have to look up to see who it is. I heard her heals clinking against the white marbled floors.

"Good morning Sammy." She greeted.

"Sam." I corrected. It was the same routine as always, and she only does it to piss me off. I heard her shuffling the papers and I looked up at her. Today she was wearing a black pencil skirt, a blue satin blouse, black heels; she had white pearl necklace and a pair of pearled earrings on each side of her ears. Her hair was pulled up into a styled up bun with her bangs pulled to the side of her forehead. Her makeup was light, a touch of pink lipstick and mascara.

Dr. Wells placed her pen down and looked at me with her intense blue eyes, "so I was told that you didn't eat your breakfast this morning." She stated. I shrugged my shoulder, "Is that what the tech wrote?"

She nodded, I just sighed, "Let me guess, I'm not allowed to participate in recreation today."

"If you know your punishment, then why mention it? Why don't you eat and do what you're supposed to do?" she pointed out. I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Dr. Wells, if you're not hungry you won't eat, right? If you don't want to do something, then why do it?"

"Because you need the energy and because those are the rules."

"Rules are made to be broken." I told her.

"So, you're the Joker now?" she asked.

"Is that what the papers says?" I pointed out again and she rolled her eyes. While she was writing in her papers, I looked at her office. Her office was just any other room in this building; so depressing looking, white walls, brown mahogany desk with personal pictures and Dell's computer. On the wall, she had books; I assumed they were medical books. I always wanted to get close to take a look at them but I never got the chance. You just come in a minute before the Doctor, take a seat and chat for about 37 minutes.

Dr. Wells would ask me the same questions as always; have I had any dreams lately? Am I taking my meds regularly? Am I participating? What are my eating habits? Sleeping habits? Is anyone bothering me? And lastly, have I seen him? To each question that she would ask me, I would say what any Doctor likes to hear, the opposite of my real answers.

As soon the session was over, I didn't waste any second in that room and walked out. I walked out and met up with Cindy at our usual spot which was at the common room. We sat together at the same long gray couch; she leaned against the side of the armrest as I just lay down and rested my head on her lap. I felt her hand going through my hair, doing what she usually does, playing with it. I miss our long hair, but ever since we got here, it was part of the rule to have our hair cut past our shoulder length. Why? I do not know, but I don't like it. It bothers me and my neck is always cold now because of that.

I stared at the white ceiling; I noticed a light brown color at the corners of the ceilings. As if someone splashed coffee but at the same time it reminded me of sulfur. I remember a few weeks ago I smelled sulfur coming from the kitchen. I started to panic when I smelled it but I didn't say anything, I just ran back to my room afraid that if I said anything or freak out, the nurses would have to sedate me and restrain me once again.

Cindy tried to braid my hair but it was a fail so she sighed in defeat. I felt her hand gripping on my hair lightly, "I miss them, Sammy. I miss him, I hate this place." I felt her move her legs, "Do you think they will find us and get us out?" she spoke in a low voice just in case the techs hear us and think we are going insane again. I bit the inside of my mouth and shrugged. I felt her tug on my hair again, "Ow!" I sat up and rubbed my head where she tugged on my hair.

"Please don't tell me that you are brain washed and that they don't exist." She told me as she looked at me angrily. I pulled my legs up and sat crossed legged, she was upset and mad. I noticed she'd been like that lately, she's losing hope and she is now relaying on me.

"I'm not brained washed, Cindy." I assured her.

"Then tell me that they are coming." I didn't say it. I just couldn't, because that means that I would be lying to her and keeping her hopes up.

"I don't know if they are. If they were, we would've left long time ago."

"Maybe they're planning on it." she sounded hopeful.

"It's been six months, Cindy." I pointed out.

"Sam wouldn't leave us here." I didn't respond, "De- "I placed my hands on each side of my ears as she said his name. It was a habit, every time Cindy or anyone say his name I would cover my ears and think of something else. Sometimes, when I get random flashbacks and I don't want to be reminded of us, I place a pillow over my face and scream and say "nononononononono" repeatedly until it goes away.

Cindy got up and standed in front of me, with both hands on her hips as she glared at me, "So you refuse to believe that they existed? That they saved our lives? That we actually _had a _life with them?"

I looked at my white snickers; I noticed a small dark spot on the tip of my shoe and it was starting to bother me. I closed my eyes; what do I believe? I saw Cindy's shoes tapping lightly, waiting for me to respond, I looked up at her already feeling like I am going to tear up but I just held it in and said, "I refuse to believe that what we had is lost. But I don't know what to believe, Cindy, I'm not crazy but this place is making me crazy and making me believe what doesn't exist, exist." A mind fuck. They are making us delusional. I placed both hands on my face as I just started to cry, Cindy knelt down and wrapped her arms around me. She rocked us both as she tried to comfort me, "Believe in us, Sammy. Hold on to that and soon enough we will be out of this place."

It's the only thing that I held on to since we got here.

I feel like that is what Cindy likes to do, makes me feel sad and depressed when she reminds me of all these things. But it's the truth and we won't deny it. Lunch time came and then it was time for vital checks. The day passed by fast surprisingly until recreation time came. I thought I was going to be taken out as punishment but it was changed and I was told that I will be cleaning the bathrooms at 8.

I was going to miss closure group, and for a moment I was happy.

Cleaning the bathroom was a nightmare but I managed to pull through. The whole time I was supervised by the tech that snitched on me for not eating my breakfast. Not one second did he take his eyes off of me, I felt eye raped.

Again, it went back to the same routine, take the pill and lie in the tiny itching bed. It was the same cycle for every new day, nothing different.

This week went by fast, but there are some days felt internal and other days that would go by fast. Today wasn't any different from any other day; Cindy and I were walking down the halls when we noticed a young teenager screaming as two tech men rushed towards her and held her while a nurse ran down the halls with a needle in her hand; ready to sedate her. The girl was kicking, screaming, and biting one of the techs and screaming, "He's coming! The Fallen Angel is coming and you will all pay for this!" she shouted. A lot of patients stopped and watched what was going on while the rest of the techs tried to tell us to keep on walking.

The teenager looked at Cindy and me before the nurse sedated her and said, "He's coming." I looked at Cindy and she had a grim look on her face. One of the techs looked at us as they pushed the patients to move. Cindy and I walked past by the girl and not once did she break eye contact with us and smiled slowly as the medication took effect.

"Cindy?" I called her out that night. I heard her mumbling in respond. I lay on my side and looked at her back.

"The girl that we saw earlier, what does she mean by 'he's coming'?" I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear her say it, confirm it. She didn't respond but after a while, she turned her back against the wall and looked at me.

"Do you think Cas is trying to tell us something?" I asked. He was the only fallen angel that we know. Cindy placed a hand under her pillow and shrugged her shoulder, "Maybe, or maybe she is the crazy one." She smiled. I shook my head, "I don't think she's crazy."

"We are all crazy at some point." She said and smiled, she noticed that I was starting to get scared again, "Don't worry, Sam. If Castiel wanted to communicate with us, then his feather ass would appear in this room." She was right, but what if Cas can't communicate with us? Don't forget that there are Anti-Angel symbols that keep them out.

Thinking about Cas made me think about Him. That night when we were rescued, that night when we thought we were dead.

You know that there's a saying that when you're dying you see the light? Well, I did see the light and I was half dead. Or so that is what Sam said. I was still conscious and I saw my surroundings, where we were. I saw Cindy's body but she was still unconscious. I tried to move but my wrists, and ankles were tied up. I tried to say something but my mouth was covered by a bandana. I saw a man leaning against a random wooden desk, candle lights lit up at every corner of the room that we were placed in. I recognized him, I knew who is. I hate myself for thinking of this by that time, but for a man of his age, he wasn't bad looking but any yellow-eyed demon would chose a good looking human to use as a vessel and deep down he is ugly looking.

He had his arms wrapped across his chest and smiled at me, "Alive are we?" he chuckled. I wanted to piss in my pants, I was scared and I didn't know what was going on and why I am trapped at a room with an actor with my best friend. But he was no actor and I did piss in my pants. The yellow-eyed demon walked to where I was and with a cold finger he traced my jaw line and leaned down, his face inches away from mine.

"Weak, but alive." He murmured at me. He took the bandana away from my mouth.

"Azazel." I said with a hoarsed voice. He opened his arms and bowed down, "Pleasure to meet you, Miss. Samantha." He smiled. At that moment, I didn't believe it was him, I thought it was Fredric Lehne. I closed my eyes, "You're not real." I muttered.

He laughed once again, "This is real as it can get, sweetie." I felt disgusted, ill, I felt dirty. I looked at Cindy and I saw her moving her trying to move her leg and mumble. I looked back at the demon and he just stood there like a creep, smiling like he ever does.

"Please tell me that this is some sick joke. That it's all in my head." I half cried. The more I talked the more my throat burned. My thoughts by that time were that I died, and that's what I got for watching Supernatural. And now, I was stuck with the demon himself for the rest of the eternity as a punishment. Azazel smirked, "It could be all in your head, and your brain is a very powerful organ. Makes you see things that is not there; things that doesn't even _exist._" Another mind fuck at that moment.

And he is right. Your brain is a powerful organ that can make you see things that is not even there but only you can control what is real and what is not. What you believe; real life or fantasy. By then, it seemed that I was trapped in my own fantasy.

I shut my eyes closed, "You're not real." He just laughed again.

"Keep telling yourself that, honey."

"You died," I said, "When the Devils gate opened; you got killed by Dean and his dad." Azazel just laughed as I explained, "Is that what the some TV show showed you?" I just saw his body shaking in laughter and I just cried.

Cindy woke up and screamed as she saw him, she screamed for her dear life and Azazel just doubled over as he laughed. It looked like he enjoyed seeing someone in pain and in agony. Then again, he would enjoy it since he is a demon. I don't remember much about that night, but God, did it feel like eternal and for the first time at that moment I did wished and prayed to be dead.

I don't know if anyone noticed that we were missing or hear us screaming at the darkest of the nights. Azazel prodded us, pocked us, tested us, inserted chemicals in our body, opened up wounds and sow them back and all the time we asked why? Why is he doing this? And his response was; to prevent us from meeting our destiny.

What is our destiny? We don't know but we know a lot knows and they won't tell us. The Winchester's doesn't know, Cindy and I don't know, but I know that Cas knows.

It was the last night before he tried to convert us into one of his. I was weak; I can barely keep my eyes open. I didn't know what Cindy condition was by that time but I did hear her voice telling me to keep my eyes open. I remember Azazel had his arm over me and a knife across his wrist.

"Drink it," he demanded. Even though I was weak I managed to speak, "I thought it only works for babies." I told him.

He smiled, "Works for all ages, sweetie. Now open." I didn't open my mouth, I tried to keep it shut but I felt his fingers forcing to open my mouth. To be honest, I don't remember a lot, but one minute I felt a warm liquid on my lip and the next minute Cindy managed to push him off me.

"Get the hell away from her!" she shouted at him. I remember seeing two men busting in and pulled Cindy away from Azazel, I remember Sam untying me and carrying me and the last thing I remember was looking up and Cindy looking down at me with a worried look telling me, "Stay with me, Sammy. Stay with me."

I never believed in the whole Angel, Demon, devil things. Besides, it was a show or so that is what I thought. They were characters, but apparently they are real life characters.

The pill are taking effects now, I felt my eyelids heavy but I started to see his face again and the young teenager. Something is about to happen, something big. I know it and I can feel it. But like a coward that I am, I wanted to run and hide. That was the only thing that I was good at.

Xx

Hey guys, I hope you like the story so far! If anything in here offends you, I apologize. It is not my intension to hurt anyone!


	4. Chapter 4: I'm So Sick

Review or no review, I shall keep on writing!

So I noticed a few grammar mistakes on my last few chapters but like a lazy fuck that I am, I won't correct them until later :3 lolololololol

Again, I don't own anything besides my Ooc's and Oc's.

Enjoy!

Xx

Chapter four: I'm so sick

"**I'm so sick, infected with where I live. Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness. I'm so sick, I'm so sick."**

**-Flyleaf**

Dear Friend,

The nights are so long and never had I been afraid of the dark. I remembered the first night I woke up at a dark room and started to panic. Like a good friend, Cindy was there to soothe me even when I was in pain. I had been asleep for three days straight and according to Cindy, and…Sam…my body shut down and on the fourth day that I finally woke up is when I screamed as if there was no tomorrow.

I remember my red head friend walked in the room and I sat up straight staring at my crush, "Samantha, what's wrong?" she asked as she looked at him and sat by my side. I pulled the blanket up to my face and said, "Why is Jensen Ackles in the same room as I am?"

"Sammie…sweetie," I felt her hand pulling the cover down but I refused to open my eyes, "he's not Jensen Ackles. That's…umm…he's Dean. The real Dean Winchester." I opened my eyes and saw him. I took a good look at him and looked at me with wide eyes. I looked back at Cindy, "You're fucking with me, and I'm in hell with you. This-this is some sick punishment, and-and I think I'm going to puke." I spoke fast and I just pushed between the two actors and rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door close.

I felt so sick and so dirty, I really did throw up and I felt good for a while. I stood in the bathroom and cracked the door open and peeked a little. I saw the two tall men talking to Cindy and she looked frustrated. Jared –err- Sam placed a hand on her arm and she looked down and up at him then sat down on a chair. I closed the door and turned the faucet on the bathtub and took the coldest shower ever.

I remember clearly that I was afraid to step out of the bathroom and face them but I couldn't stay in the bathroom forever and I had questions to be answered.

Luckily, the days that I was unconscious the guys were nice enough to bring clothes for us while we recovered. When I walked out of the bathroom the Winchester brothers were nowhere to be seen and Cindy handed me fresh new clothes. I remember what I was wearing that day; a pair of dark jeans, a gray V-neck and my dried converse. The rest of our clothes we had to dispose it and for the rest of the afternoon we stayed at the hotel and waited for them to return.

Cindy and I were at the small living room watching TV but we weren't really paying attention. We were mostly talking.

"What happened?" I asked her. She ran a hand through her long hair, "You want the real answer or the fairy tale story?" I looked at her, giving her the 'really?' look. She sighed, "What happened is that we shouldn't be alive."

"Well no shit Sherlock."

"Sam quit being sassy." She said and then after a while we both laughed at the same time. It took a while for us to get serious but she eventually told me what happened. We don't remember what happened when we were drowning, but somehow Azazel got a hold of us and we don't know why. Now, the Winchester found us and according to Cindy, Sam said he had a vision of us in the water and a vision of the warehouse where Azazel kept us hidden. The question is, how? And did Azazel managed to put demon blood in me? Again, Sam believes that he did due to the side effects and the problem is why did he do it?

That night, the Winchesters came back with food and I walked back to the room. I wasn't ready to face them. It was too good to be true and I still felt that I was dead and God is playing some sick joke on me.

Actually, it took me days to accept the truth that I was not dead and that they are real, that they are not fictional. I still needed more proof; a proof that I wasn't dead but then again, does a dead person feel? Do they have emotions? Do they see what I see?

If it were any other fan, they would be fangirling so hard. Just like Cindy did, but at nights. I on the other hand, I couldn't fangirl. I guess I was too constipated and blinded by the fact that it's _them._

It was one Sunday afternoon when I found out that I got ditched. No one left a note to know where they went. I sat on the coffee table and looked outside of the window; the day was sunny and it looked pretty warm outside. Warm in the middle of October? Where are we? I saw a brochure on the table and we were in Kansas.

My thoughts at the moment were: what the hell? I wanted the real reality back.

I got tired staying inside the room, so I decided to walk out and get fresh air. My friend, I felt like a vampire being suicidal as I walked outside in the intense sunlight.

I bet the sun was happy and shit saying: Good afternoon humans! Let me show you some love by giving you sunburn! Marking you that you are mine! Mineminemineminemine!

Sorry, this is what happens when the sleeping pills take effect.

Either way, long story short. I went out to the back of the hotel there was a big lake and behind the lake there was a forest. A few people were chilling by the deck and others walking by the bay of the lake. I went to the deck and sat down, my feet barely touching the blue water. I took in the whole scenery; the whole landscape looked so alive, so colorful. I felt like I was part of the movie and I was playing some type of character trying to figure out what is her role, only thing in this movie there is some kind of plot twist.

A sick plot twist.

I remember looking down and saw my reflection in the water. I looked tired; I had dark circles around my eyes, my hair looked dull, and I noticed a few scars on my arms. I started to feel ashamed about my body and wrapped my arms around myself.

As I looked at myself, and something was off about my eyes. I squinted my eyes and leaned more in and I noticed that my eyes were no longer the same color; they were all black. I freaked out and felt someone place a hand on my shoulder pulling me back and I looked up.

"Hey, be careful-"

I felt something tug around my ankle and pull me into the water. I didn't have the chance to scream for help, but I felt being dragged down to the lake. Dean jumped in and I saw him swimming down towards me, his hand outstretched reaching for mine. It was useless to scream because the only thing that escaped from my mouth was bubbles and my lungs screaming for air.

The darkness wanted to take over but I tried to kick whatever was gripping my ankle. I looked down and I saw nothing, nothing but more darkness and I no longer felt anything on my ankle. I did, however, felt someone grabbing by my arm and pulling me up to the surface. It was so dramatic that I felt like the little mermaid, jumping up in the surface gasping for air.

"I got you." Dean assured me. He pulled us to the surface; I lay on my back as I coughed the water out and breathed really hard. Dean was on his knees and hand breathing heavy and looked at me, "Are you alright?" he asked. I looked at him, I couldn't talk but I shook my head indicating that I was fine.

"Let's get you out of here and look for your friend and Sam." He said as he helped me to get up.

It was another day with my second near death experience. I looked on the bright side though; I was the shotgun in Dean's Impala.

Xx

Dear friend,

To what point do you know what a nightmare is and what is real? Just few nights ago I saw the black-eyed demons and I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or it was just a quick memory. I didn't recognize the face to know who it was, it was just too blurry. It was a tall figure and it was just standing far from me, it didn't move or say anything. It just stood there.

Cindy: "It's the meds, Sammy. Its part the side effects."

Me: "No, I don't think so."

It was lunch time today at the PW (Psychotic Ward), and for lunch we had whole wheat, low-fat peanut butter and jelly sandwich and for drink it was milk, orange juice, or water. I chose Milk since I dislike orange juice. Our assigned tech stood against the wall watching us and taking notes if we are eating, how much we ate, what we drank, and if we finished it all.

I chewed on my food carefully and looked at my surroundings. Everyone in this room looked miserable and hopeless; it is rare that you hear someone talk positive. If someone talks positive it means that they are insane, but if someone is miserable that means it is normal. That is how the Doctors see it and it doesn't make sense to me.

The day went my slow and to make matter worse, I had a mental break down. Cindy and I were just walking down the hallway when all of a sudden I thought I saw him. I saw him standing in the middle of the hallway looking confused as he looked around, not knowing where to go.

"Dean?" I whispered and he looked at me, "Dean!" I shouted. I ran towards him, the ghost of him. He looked down at me with a worried look that he would always give me when something bad is about to happen.

"Dean?" I called him again, he was moving his lips but no sound came out. It all happened so fast, Cindy was trying to move me telling me that nothing was there but those damn techs just came in time and held me back. Dean was still standing there giving me a pure horror look when the nurses tried to sedate me.

The drugs were getting the best of me, and slowly it was taking effect. I was starting to see double vision but he was still there when I was falling.

This time, he didn't catch me when I fell.

Xx

Hey guys! So here's chapter four! It is supposed to be short because it's a journal entry, so be patience with me! As you can see, each chapter contains flashbacks from the beginning and then it goes through the day at the Psychiatric Ward (PW). I hope you like the story so far!

Song: I'm so sick by flyleaf.


	5. Chapter 5: The House

Woohoo! Chapter five!

I will make this quick: I do not own Supernatural!

I only own my oc's and minor ooc's!

Onward!

XX

**Chapter five: The House **

Dear friend,

I don't really want to talk about what happened last week. I know what I saw and I know it wasn't an episode, but according to Dr. Wells, it is an episode.

Dr. Wells: "Nothing was there, Samantha. Everyone said that they didn't see anything but you and your friend."

Me: "Bullshit. I know what I saw, don't tell me that I didn't see it. You didn't see what my own eyes saw and it wasn't playing tricks on me."

Dr. Wells: "But your brain might be." She pointed out. It was right then and there that I could no longer fully trust her because only one person said that to me: Azazel. Dr. Wells placed her pen down and clapped her hands together as she looked at me. I had her full attention for the first time and she was no longer smiling like she always was.

"When was the last time you dreamt about Dean?" she asked me. I opened my mouth but no words came out, when was the last time I dreamed about him? I shook my head, "I-I don't remember? I haven't dreamed about him since I got here."

"He isn't real, Samantha. He is just a _fictional character_, we researched online for this Dean Winchester and all we had was an actor named Jensen Ackles." I didn't want to believe her when she said. I shook my head violently this time; Dr. Wells grabbed a packet with information of Jensen Ackles. She handed it to me and but I refused to look at it or read.

"Jensen Ross Ackles; born on March 1, 1978; hometown Dallas, Texas." She read.

"No."

"Married to Danneel Ackles."

"Stop…"

"Has a 10 month old baby daughter."

"That's not true! Stop!"

"Cast in Supernatural"

"I said STOP!" I shouted at her. She looked at me with a smug look on her face, "You're a monster." I told her and she just chuckled, "I'm just stating the facts, Sammy." She said, "Not enough?" I stood up and slapped the packet out of her hand. I didn't mean to do that, but it just the anger taking the best of me at the moment and she was tempting me as well.

"It's all lies." I told her through my gritted teeth.

"Fine," she said calmly as she picked up her black and gold pen, "Tomorrow I will take you where you used to live." My blood ran cold now. Going back home is the last place I want to be.

Dr. Wells dismissed me and I just stomped out of her office and went to my assigned room. Cindy was there waiting for me, she was sitting on the corner of her bed but I just ignored her. I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything for the rest of the day for that matter.

I was surprised that no one ever bothered to check up on me at least once to see if I was alright and that night for the first time I didn't take the sleeping pills and for the first time, I had a real nightmare. No memory but a nightmare that made feel trapped.

I saw my friends and my family but all of them buried six feet below and I was standing over their graveyard and in front of me only stood one tall light browned haired man with a big menacing smile. A man that I never seen before, but the way he called my name out and his finger telling me to come forward, I was being controlled.

_"You're mine."_

Xx

When Dr. Wells plans a fieldtrip, she plans them with only one patient and a tech to come along just in case. To her 'In case', meaning if we have mental break down, she would need a backup to hold us while she sedates us. She's been out with patients before, from what I've seen, but there was never an accident. And I hope it stays that way.

Going to my old home was a very, very bad idea. I couldn't get inside because it only brought back memories, but I didn't have any other choice.

The Doctor and the Tech walked inside the old house while I stood outside and looked at it. The windows were covered with boards, the paint of the house were chipping off, weeds were growing around the house, the grass was tall than the usual, and few plants were dried due to the immense heat and the lack of attention.

As soon as I walked inside, everything looked different. Dust lay over every surface like dirty snow, pristine dust layer, not a foot print anywhere, dust bunnies the size of cotton balls tumbled across the floor boards towards the unseen skittles. Free papers piled up to the letter box and cascaded all the way to the foot of the rough wooden stairs, old tea cups lay on a coffee table thickly encrusted with dried up molds. Dust covered up mirrors on the hallway walls, the smell of mildew, air think with dust. The front large windows of the living room; the sunlight was streaming through the gaps of the heavy dry blood stained velvet curtains.

I stood at the middle of the living room as I took everything in; for a moment I felt like I was the only one at the house. There was an absolute silence, not even the hum of the refrigerator, the house only occupants weaved their webs between the spindles of the stair banister and from the ceiling to the wall, old cobwebs bellowed in the draft.

I heard Dr. Wells footstep since she was wearing high heels, "Anything looks familiar to you, Sam?" she asked as she peeked through the kitchen. I didn't answer her, I moved instead.

"Feel free to…refresh your memory, honey." She said.

My home was no longer a home; it looked more like a haunted house. Every turn I take, I get a quick flashback of the Winchesters, Bobby, Cindy and I running and shouting at each other. I walked upstairs and touched the dusty railing and looked at the top of the stairs. I remembered when Sam was standing there offering Cindy his hand for some reason.

I took one step at a time as I walked up stairs and when I reached the top, I was at the main hallway that contained three rooms and one main bathroom. I went directly to my room which was all the way to the back.

I stood facing my front room door, well the only door there is obviously. The door creaked open, moving, opening one centimeter at a time. It could move faster, but the wooden door has grown moldy and soft with water and neglect, and if you pushed it harder you'd probably right through the door. Once inside, a thick coating of dust and mold coats everything. I stepped in tentatively, as there are already several dark holes where floorboards have snapped, weak from mold and pressured downwards. Cobwebs brushed over my face as I stepped deeper into my room. A shiver ran down my spine when I saw my desk chair fallen and everything else misplaced.

My room, it looked so gray and lifeless. I heard the floor board creek already knowing that I wasn't alone, "Do you remember what happened here?" Dr. Wells asked. I had my back on her; I knelt down as I picked up a picture frame that was on the floor. It was a picture of my parent's and my brother.

"You were dragged out from your room by a murder. The same man that killed your parents and your brother." She said.

I glanced at her, "You're lying." I mumbled.

"Then explain the scar at the side of your ribs." She pointed out. The scar that she is mentioning I got it from someone else not from the murder.

***flashback ***

It was one late afternoon and we planned to go back to our dorms to get our belonging but Sam suggested that the less people there are the better. The only closest place to the university was my parent's home.

That was the first day that Dean and I had full conversation but I still wasn't fully convinced that he was not acting. Not just him or his brother. Cindy and I were alone in my room while the boys waited down stairs speaking with Bobby.

"What should we pack?" Cindy asked as she held on a back bag and looked around my room.

"Clothes." I pointed out the obvious and she looked at me, "Well no duh smart ass. But I meant who should pack what?" I didn't say anything and shrugged my shoulder.

"You're not helping Samantha."

I gave her an exasperated look and just sighed, "Fine, you pack the clothes and I'll pack the toiletries and any other of your girly essentials and mine." She nodded and we got to it. I went to the bathroom that was in the same room and looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed what a mess I was. I looked tired, as if I haven't slept for days and the clothes that I was wearing were baggy. I shook my head and just packed the essentials in the bag and then placed it down on the floor. I turned on the water faucet from the sink and washed my face, I felt rather dirty. I turned off the faucet and placed both hands on each side of the white marbled sink. I looked up at the mirror and I almost yelped when I noticed my younger bloodline behind me. I turned around and placed a hand over my chest.

"Jesus, Charlie. Don't creep up on me like that." I told him. I didn't hear him coming in my room. I passed by him and handed Cindy the bag.

"Charlie? I didn't see you come in." she said. Charlie walked out of the bathroom and smiled, "What are you guys doing? Another camping at campus?" he asked rather excitedly. It seemed really odd to me because he was never like that before. Ever.

I watched him carefully, "Where's mom and dad?"

"Talking to your friends. So tell me Samantha, how does it feel to be in a world of fantasies?" he leaned forward and backward very eagerly. Cindy and I looked at each other; my brother is not acting like he usually does.

"What do you mean?" I asked him and he walked forward, towards me.

"Let me take you back to Azazel. He can explain!" he said in a very cheerful tone. He grabbed me by my arm real tight and I tried to pull away from him.

"Charlie! What has gotten into you!" I asked as I managed to pull away from his grasp. My brother's body started to shake violently and then his face changed. His face transformed into a giant mouth with very pointy sharp teeth and bifurcated tongues. Cindy and I screamed as he began to attack us. I pushed Cindy forward and told her to run, my brother though; he got a good hold of me.

"Leaving so soon, sister?" he asked, "You just got back." He had both of his hands on my arms and started to shake me, "You can't leave yet. I made plans for us!"

"W-what have you done to my brother?"

"Little Charlie? Oh, he had to go bye-bye." He said as his face turned into a giant mouth again. I didn't scream, I didn't have the chance to scream until he got beheaded by Dean. The Leviathan blood got splattered across my shirt and the older Winchester threw the head across the room.

It was too much for one day, and not just because I just witnessed my brother being beheaded, but the rest of my family as well. My parent's bodies lay lifelessly on the floor and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye.

***End of flashback***

Dr. Wells said that she looked at the police report and the day that my family got murdered was two days later after I left. The beheaded part was correct but it wasn't done by the murder, it just wasn't correct. I asked her who was it and why they still haven't locked him or her up yet.

She said that he was still on the run and that the cops are doing all they can to catch him. It was such a shady cover up and I obviously didn't believe her, I just couldn't believe her or anyone for the PW facility. It was useless and pointless of them to bring me here, it didn't prove anything nor did it change my mind.

I gave one last look of my once used to be home. You can't tell what, but there is something unbelievably spooky about this place. Before I walked out, I looked at the crumbling tiles that let in the slightest glimpse of sunlight breaking through the evil darkness of the room. The tech placed a hand on my shoulder indicating for me to move along.

As soon as the car started to move, I looked behind and I noticed a man at the front step of the house. He was wearing a brown trench coat, black pants, a white button down and a dark shaded tie. His hair messy but still looked good on him, and also he had a very serious look. I didn't say anything to Dr. Wells or otherwise she would think that I am having another episode.

"Dr. Wells?" I called her out. She looked at me from the rearview mirror, "How was this visit going to prove me about The Winchester?" She gave me a grim look.

"I just told you back there about your parent's death, was that not enough?" I looked back at the fallen angel, how he got smaller and smaller as the car moved, "Then how do you know what is real from truth and lies?" she didn't answer this time, and I caught her. I smiled, it was something that Castiel taught me; your eyes never lie, and don't play tricks on you. It might be controlled by the brain, but cannot fool you.

-Sam.

Xx

Hey guys! Sorry about this chapter! It sucks xp and made it short and fast. Either way, I hope you're liking it so far! If you are curious about the scene from the chapters, feel free to go to my fan page on Instagram (username is on my profile!) I posted the first picture from last chapter few days ago!

Laters!


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